I drive back to the prison, drumming my fingers anxiously against my thigh. Somehow, I’m even more nervous than I was the first time. Does that even make sense? I guess it’s because I feel like Bain and I had an unbelievable first date that started off strong but then went off the rails, and now if we don’t hold it together this time, there will be no hope for us.
First date? What am I even thinking right now? I have to get my dude-brain working.
This isn’t a date; this is just a hook-up. Like Kelly said, he’s in prison for life, so it’s not like he’s going to pull out a ring, get down on knee, and propose to me or something. I’m going here for one thing and one thing only, and I need to remember that.
Why am I even thinking about Bain proposing to me anyway? He’s a serial killer, for crying out loud. That would just be…insane. It’s not like I could ever tell the people back at work about him. “Oh yeah, guys, remember that guy we put away five years ago? We’re getting married!”
Yeah, absolutely crazy. So then why can’t I stop thinking about it as I drive closer and closer to the prison?
Something about that phone call…the way he spoke to me. He really seemed concerned about how things ended during my last visit, and not just because he wanted me to come see him again. I don’t want to be one of those girls who kids themselves into thinking a guy actually likes her when he’s really only interested in one thing, but I actually think Bain does genuinely like me.
But what’s actually scaring me is that I think I may actually genuinely like him too.
“Terrifying thought, Elena,” I say to myself as I pull onto the private drive leading up to the prison. “Could you really love a serial killer?”
It is a terrifying thought, but what’s even more terrifying is the fact that as I drive and the prison’s fences come into view, I realize that I don’t have an answer for myself.
I park and go through the same procedure as before, only this time I feel as though my heart literally might explode, and by the time I’m walking up to the trailer, I’m absolutely sure I’m going to pass out before I reach the steps. Somehow, I manage not to and make it to the door, which swings open to reveal Bain’s handsome face, smiling down at me like a prince. A warm feeling literally floods my chest when I see how happy he is to see me.
“I wasn’t sure you’d actually show up,” he says.
“Oh, ye of little faith,” I tease, doing my best to appear calm. I must be pulling it off, because he just chuckles and extends a hand to help me up the last step and inside.
I try, for a moment, to pretend like I’m not entering a conjugal trailer but a house that we both share, and I try to imagine what that would be like and whether or not I could wrap my head around sharing a space with this man and if I could put the terrible things he’s done out of my mind and just enjoy his presence.
And as I watch his eyes as they move across my body, filled with such obvious desire, and then settle on mine with a fixation that causes my heart to flutter, I feel like I might. I just might.
“Trench coat,” he remarks with an approving nod. “I like it.”
I look down and laugh. “I completely forgot I was wearing it.”
“Very Desperate Housewives.”
“Hey,” I tease. “Are you calling me desperate?”
Bain’s face twists in horror as he begins to panic. After how things ended last time, I know he’s got to be on his toes about saying anything that might cause today’s meeting to go wrong.
“No, I—”
But before he can get too worked up, I pop the top button on my coat and take a seductive step forward. That shuts him up. His eyes instantly shift to my chest, and a sinister little smile begins to spread across his lips.
“Because you’d be right,” I continue, popping a second button to reveal a hint of cleavage. “I am desperate, Bain.” Another button pops, revealing even more. This is so unlike me. I’ve never done anything like this before, but something about this man just brings something out inside of me.
“I’m desperate for you.”
With a quick tug, I pop every button on my trench coat all the way down the front. The lapels swing aside, exposing my completely naked body beneath. No lingerie this time. Just me, completely bare for Bain to see.
“Goddamn,” he says simply, his voice low and filled with bass. I see the hunger in his eyes and swell inside with a feeling of power. My heart dances around in my chest, lighting me up like a bunch of fireworks all going off at the same time. This is a primal man, a dangerous man, and right now, all his focus and attention is on me. All of that raw savageness that could, at an instant, be turned into something terrible and brought to bear against someone else, is set on me with a lust in his eyes that makes me feel like the sexiest, the most beautiful, most alluring woman in the world. It’s as if all the planets in the solar system revolve around me, and I wish I had some way of thanking him for that.
Well, I know one way…
I’m throwing my arms around his neck before I realize it. My lips meet his with a kiss filled with more passion than I even knew I had for him. His hands slip hungrily around my waist and grip me with such firm reassurance that any doubt I had about coming back here today is instantly wiped away. I know there is blood on these hands, but right now, I don’t care. Right now, all I care about is the fact that he wants me and I want him.
His thick arms wrap around me and pull me to his muscled chest. I feel the bulge beneath his prison-issue pants, an undeniable sign of his desire for me. My heart skips a beat, and I break our embrace, pull back, and stare into his eyes – his strong, unyielding eyes.
“You’d never hurt me, right? Right, Bain?”
His expression softens, and he looks down at me with something close to pity, almost like he can’t believe what I just asked him.
“Are you kidding me? Of course I wouldn’t.” He reaches out tenderly and smooths a piece of my hair back. “Not only did I always have a strict code of no women and no children, but I’d rather die than harm a hair on your head, Elena. You…you mean more to me than you know.”
Bain’s words penetrate my chest and go straight to the core of my being, sinking into some hidden place within me that I wasn’t even aware of. It’s as though he’s laying claim to me now, planting his flag and declaring me his, and that is not something I was expecting to happen. I thought I was going to engage my “dude-brain” and show up for some good old fashioned fun, and that would be that, but now as I stare into his eyes, I know that’s not going to happen. I know something more is going on between us, something powerful, and I’m helpless to stop it.
I feel a pain in my chest.
Bain will be in prison for life.
If you’d asked me yesterday, I would have said that was a good thing – just reassurance for me that I’ll never have to worry about him getting out and coming to hurt me.
But that was yesterday…
Now as I look into his eyes, I feel myself wondering what a life with him would be like. How it would be to wake up by his side, pinned beneath those rugged, masculine arms and be ravaged by him, used for his pleasure every single day. All I ever wanted was to succeed in life – become a career woman and provide for myself. But now, being here with Bain, it’s like a switch has been flipped inside me, awakening every feminine instinct I have, and suddenly all I want to do is please him.
I never thought a desire like that would be possible for me. But here I am…
“I never should have reacted the way I did, Bain,” I say quickly. “I’m sorry, I just—”
But Bain silences me with his lips, kissing me with such passion and such claim. I feel as though I’m his and I always have been. An ache rises in my body – an ache that can only be resolved by one thing that only Bain has.
I’ll never run out on him again. I’ll come back here time and time again. I’ll even see if the guards can make visiting hours more frequent for me because I know I’m going to need it. This first taste…this is only the beginning.
