Admittedly, I might’ve lost my cool a bit. Throwing unpacked snow at a towering, deadly alien warrior isn’t quite all-time low material, but it’s pretty close. My eyes are raw and puffy even hours later. I don’t cry often, but when I do, I cry hard and can never seem to stop. Just when I think I’m done, that there can’t possibly be more tears inside me, I find some tucked away. It felt good at first to lose my cool, to freak out, and just cry.
Now I’m just tired. The food I prepared for Fafnir sitting idly on a warming plate.
I want to help.
I have to.
Even if it’s crossing boundaries and overstepping. Even if it’s ugly and uncomfortable, I can’t leave here knowing he’s not okay. That there isn’t hope. However small. The wind howls so fiercely that it acts as a lull to thoughts that have been racing for weeks. I’m jolted from my spot, dozing on the couch, when the door slams open. I suck in a ragged breath, launching to my feet like I’m under attack. Fafnir lords in the doorway, making a blast of cold air whip through the toasty house. His long hair knotted and windswept. It’d taken a nasty turn shortly after I got back. I’d tried to send Val back, but of course, he declined to listen. Fafnir’s nostrils flare, his eyes darting to the food waiting for him. As usual, there’s no indication of how he receives my peace offering, aside from the clenching in his jaw. Biting back my sigh, I jerk the blanket I’ve been wiping my snot on for the past few hours up and head toward the bedroom.
I’m less than halfway there before the world tilts and I’m jerked up off my feet and slammed against a broad chest. “Hey!”
“Quiet female.”
“No female not quiet! Female is pissed off and wants to stop being tossed around like a wet noodle!”
“What is a noodle?”
I rear back as he covers me with more furs, canting my head back to stare at him upside down. “You don’t know what a noodle is?”
He shakes his head, adjusting me in his arms before stalking out into the blizzard. The blast of unforgiving wind and snow feels like glass shards, hitting my skin like a whip. I’m grateful when he turns the corner, stalking around the side of the house, protecting us from the worst of it. I open my eyes wider than I dared moments before, staring at the large wooden box now lying on the ground.
My heart thunders as I struggle free from his arms. He puts me down reluctantly, moving to snatch me back up when I hiss, my bare feet sinking into the snow. He only gets an outer layer of fur as I drop to my knees in front of the wooden nest. My heart swells, aching something awful at the little blue rabbit inside, its belly wrapped and mended. The cozy nest laden with warm fur, sticks, and some greens, water… “D-Did you build this?” I call over the wind, my teeth chattering. This time, when he plucks me from the ground, I curl into him, hiding my face from the snow.
“I am not the best with my words, Lenora. I wanted to make things better before I returned.”
Tears bud in my eyes as he walks us back through the threshold. When I speak again, my voice is a whisper. “Should he be inside?”
“She is made for the cold and is far more comfortable where she’s at.”
I nod, blinking my eyes rapidly before pulling back and staring at his clear, golden eyes. I’m not sure who moves first. Maybe it’s us both. Perhaps it’s me, but our lips don’t slam this time, but meet gently in the middle. The kiss is deep, agonizingly slow, and my core flutters pressed against him. We savor each other, and when my tongue tests the seam of his lips, he allows me in with a deep groan. We only part once we reach the bedroom. My chest and cheeks flushed as I’m lain back on the bed. He doesn’t hesitate, crawling over me, peppering my flesh with attention as he strips me of my clothes.
This softer, gentler vison of him is… muddying. Reverent. Like I’m a gift he’s waited his entire life for. There’s no chastising, no judgement as he peels me open. His lips tracing the path of my tears as he adores and worships me. He doesn’t stop his musings until I’m a panting, shaky, needy mess. Then he continues further, my first climax hitting me in a slow building eruption. I’m offered a hungry satisfied smile; he hasn’t even touched my cunt. He hadn’t needed to.
“Please Faf, I feel so empty,” I whimper, wishing I could rub my thighs together. My core still clenching and unclenching around nothing at all.
“You need to be filled by my cocks.”
I nod hungerly, despite it not being a question. “I want your mating cock, please, I can take it.”
That seems to snap his soft resolve. I yelp as I’m jerked up onto his lap. My throbbing, pulsing clit pressed against his upper cock. The lower thick one already slick, the tip ruddy and weeping. When he grips my hips, forcing his smaller cock in between my folds I moan. He lets me take over, grinding on the hardened length until my thrusts are jerky and wanton. I’m teetering on the edge, looming over the drop when he stills me, lifting my hips to offer me his fingers.
“No-no, I need more, please,” I beg, my head against his chest. Sitting on his lap, it’s all I can reach.
“I will hurt you—’
“No more than I can take,” I counter.
The growl that leaves his throat should be terrifying. It’s everything but. He lifts me, notching his smaller cock in my entrance. I answer him with a moan as I sink lower, stretching inch by small, agonizing inch. My core flutters as it finally gives, letting me sink to the hilt. The sound he makes has me teetering all over again. Fafnir doesn’t take control again. He lets me lead as I ride him with slow, languid rolls of my hips, my clit grinding his base until I scream my release. My pert nipples dragging across his chest as his tail trails up and down my spine, making me tremble.
I’m still catching my breath when he lifts out of me, shifting my hips back. “I want you to rub your pleasure spot.”
“My what?” I breathe.
“This.” He flicks my clit, making me cry out, trying to evade him. I go absolutely nowhere in his ironclad grip.
“It’s a clit. Call it a clit.”
“Rub your clit, Lenora. I am seconds from wasting my seed.” He grits, and I obey a little too quickly. The tiny bud is oversensitive, nearing painful when I get to it. My own light circles on the pulsing nub makes me whimper before all of my attention is slammed to the way his hand grips his mating cock, smoothing it over with seed. I watch with parted lips, wanting so badly to taste it, but he’s having none of that. “Keep going, pretty female.”
His praise sweeps through me. My eyes flutter closed, unsure if I can watch when—
I scream as he shunts forward, forcing the head in. My eyes well with tears as his hand relaces mine, rubbing his seed over my clit. I breathe deeply, but each one only seems to make me twitch in some terrible way.
“Fuck, you’re so tiny. So tiny, my beautiful Sha’vria.” The word is so pretty, I focus on that, and slowly, surely, the deep-seated throbbing burn turns as he works me over, gathering more of his seed. I force my eyes open to watch him smear and paint my breasts with it, as if he’s trying to root it in my skin. “I’m going to breed your tiny cunt.”
I lose it, pleasure finally coming back to me with unprecedented violence. My hands are shaky as I grip his smaller cock, working it with my hands. He groans, whatever he is about to say lost to it. When he rocks upward, my body holds out for a few tense seconds before he sinks deeper. I’m stretched, too full, too wide, too fucking deep, but I want more. I wiggle, making myself hiss in pain before his hand snags my throat, robbing me of air. The effect is dizzying, my head already light from the way he’s spearing my cunt.
“Be still and let me use you.”
I melt.
My head knocks against his chest as he releases me, his warning clear. My hand still feverishly working his other cock. A wild mewling sound leaves my throat as I press it against my clit, jerking it across the pulsing nub.
He roars out a curse in his language, and the hot jet hits me all at once. I moan, being so still as he works me down further, impossibly far. I’m sobbing by the time I reach the base. “Such a good little human. You’re taking my cocks so well, little Sha’vria.”
My body is trembling violently, his seed hitting somewhere so deep, so wrong inside me. But fuck, it feels divine. The pain wrapped around pleasure, and both battling for the forefront.
“Look at yourself Lenora, look how deep my cock is. Look at what a good little breeder you are for me. Perfect, stunning female.” He praises again, and my eyes are blurry with tears when I force them open. Shock hits me first. I am… wide, unnaturally so, but it’s happening and… and it’s good. He’s still pulsing inside me, filling me up so much that it’s leaking out from around him. “I want you to come on my mating cock.”
“I- I can’t.”
“You will, but you have to stay still, yes? You cannot move when we are like this.”
“Faf- no, I- it’s too much. I can’t.” I sob, pleading.
His mouth captures mine, and his deep, earthy, warm taste steals the rest of my objections. His expert fingers work my clit and my nipples until I’m babbling unintelligibly against his lips and again when I come, I don’t stay conscious long enough to ride it all the way through. The world dots and pivots as I come back to my body, my limbs like stone. “Shhhh, so close my mate. You’ve done so well.”
My mind blots again, but he’s still speaking, saying something important. I’m too tired to listen. Absently, I feel him pop free of my core, letting out a spasm of agony and an obscene gush of fluid. He lays me gently on my back, and my body shakes so hard my head starts to pound. I’m used, broken, ripped in half, but sated, oh so sated.
My body is jelly in his arms as he eases me into them, cradling me tightly to his chest as I try to swallow back every sob that worms into my throat. I’m achy all over and my vagina feels like it’s got a gaping hole carved through it. If he keeps putting his mating cock all the way in, the baby will surely walk straight out. I doze for a few seconds before the spattering of hot water makes me flinch. He eases me out, lowering the temperature before trying it again. All the while murmuring soft, kind assurances on his lips.
“You did so well Lenora, such a brave, strong female.” He all but coos as he rests me in his lap under the water, letting it warm and ease my throbbing, weary bones.
My chest feels raw too, in a different, soul deep kind of way. He’s cleaning me, using his soap gently between my legs. My teeth dig into my bottom lip to stop myself from crying out with each pass of his rough palm. When I’m clean, half asleep and warm, he eases me to the ground. My eyes are half lidded as I bend my knees with minimal cursing and inspect the damage. I’m bleeding, but no more than I do with a light period. My stomach feels like I’ve done a thousand sit-ups, but aside from the red, angry color, it looks more or less the same. No gaping crater in my pussy, that’s nice.
I let my head knock back against the shower wall to watch Fafnir as he cleans himself. Scrubbing the base of his horns where they meet his scalp. Next time, I’d like to do that for him. The odd, cloying well of emotions that’s been keeping my mouth shut and throat clogged finally breaks loose. “My dad committed suicide a little over a year ago.”
He stills, his Adonis muscles tensing, but he doesn’t speak, no false condolences and plications. I find it refreshing. “He had Alzheimer’s, his mind… it didn’t work right anymore. He forgot things, himself… us. It was progressing so fast, we couldn’t afford the treatment, so he just—
“Gave up,” he offers.
“Yeah. He gave up.”
“It is a terrible thing to not trust your own mind.”
I want to get upset, to yell and throw things again, but I’m exhausted and everything aches. Mostly, I know he’s not wrong. I cannot fathom how horrible it must be. So, I just nod instead as he kneels in front of me, water soaking his handsome, severe face. “We can keep doing your calming exercises. You can ask your questions and take notes, if it will help balm the pain you carry.”
I choke back a sob.
When I’m dry and he’s lain me in the clean bed, I’m asleep seconds after my head hits the pillow, wondering what life would look like if I stayed.
