Back in my office, I take a deep breath. I just told myself that I wouldn’t kiss them anymore. Gunner was a mistake. He has to be. They’ve all gotten one now, and that’s all they’re going to get. But feeling his hand along the back of my thigh set something off in me – a firework.
Electricity sizzling across my nerves until I only wanted to think about Roman, Gunner, Holden, and Nick and what they could do to me. Roman, giving orders and rewarding me by letting me wrap my mouth around him while Gunner thrusts into me hard and deep. Or maybe Nick and Holden while Roman has me all …
I groan and let my head fall to the desk.
If they could hear my fantasies. If they had any idea how much I want each of them, all of them. I shake my head. This is ridiculous. And I remind myself of that until I grab my things and head towards the front. Sasha gives me a sneer and walks over.
“Real classy of you.”
“What?”
“Fucking the bosses to get ahead? Please.” She shakes her head. “After the whole ‘fake father’ thing. Come on. I’ve seen the women that Miles ‘dates’.”
“That’s Mr. Langston to you.” Roman’s voice cracks like a whip.
Sasha takes a step back, going pale, and then hurries to her desk. Roman’s hand falls on my lower back, and he guides me forward. I don’t resist. His whole body is tense. When we get in the car, he grips the wheel hard.
Did I do something?
I almost ask, but he steps on the gas, we weave through traffic until we get home. “I’m heading out. Tomorrow you’re shadowing Holden, so you can sleep in a little.”
“Thanks.”
I get through a shower – extra-long – and try to digest what I learned today. Cybersecurity is confusing as hell, but the way Roman lit up while showing me made it worth learning. I’ve already kind of shadowed Holden, but I have a feeling that the same type of tension is going to weigh between us.
And I’m proven right as soon as I see him in the morning, shirtless, pants slung low, and a calmness about him that makes me even more eager to give in to whatever he wants. He looks me over and smirks.
By comparison, I’m overdressed.
“Sweats?” It’s half an offer, half a request.
I go upstairs and change. They’re Victoria’s Secret Pink, and I pair them with a comfy crop top that’s still stylish. Not totally unprofessional, but cute too. Which shouldn’t matter. But it does.
Holden nods to my outfit, then starts cooking. “Lunch first.”
“Okay. What are you making?”
Instead of answering, he motions me forward. I watch him toss veggies in a wok, adding sauce and seasoning. I watch him toss things in without a care. He glances at me, then pulls me in front of him. “I’ll show you.”
And he does, his strong arms wrapped around me, body cradling me. It’s heaven. I feel safe and … warm. He’s so strong and good. I swallow. “If I burn it, I’m sorry.”
“You won’t.”
He’s confident in me too?
Jesus, what were these men fed as kids? I laugh as we make lunch, then we sit down together to eat. I lean my head to the side. “Tell me more about you, Holden. I don’t know a thing.”
“Nothing to know.” He shrugs.
“Come on. I don’t need the nasty or painful bits. Just something about you.”
He thinks about it for a moment, then shrugs. “I don’t know how to swim.”
“You what?!”
I give him shit about it, trying to understand, but I can’t wrap my head around him not being able to swim. He laughs and throws his hands up. “I never got around to learning, and by the time I realized I should, I was afraid I’d drop like a rock.”
I giggle and pat his knee. “I could teach you. You’re going to teach me more about accounting. I feel like it’s only fair.”
He glances at my hand and nods. “I’d like that.”
“You’d trust me?”
He takes our dishes and puts them in the sink, offering me his hand. I don’t even think before I take it. “Really, Holden?”
“The shallow end will be fine.”
I laugh, and then we sit down to go over numbers. After an hour, I feel like my head is going to explode. I dig my fingers through my hair and groan. The numbers just swim in front of my eyes.
How can he stay in this room and watch this? This – all day, every day. Over and over. I groan and peek at Holden from behind my hair. He smirks and reaches for me, pushing my hair back and holding it there as I pout.
“How do you do this?”
“It’s learned.” He whispers.
“No. You’re insane.” I say firmly, trying to ignore the way his fingers massage into my scalp. “You’re smart and bright, and your ability to make sense of this is … I have so much to learn.”
Holden releases me suddenly, turning to face the computer. It’s like winter’s rolled in early. Not that I should want him to keep touching me. Just like I shouldn’t have wanted Roman’s hands-on me yesterday. But I see Holden’s jaw tighten, and it takes everything in me to keep from touching him.
What did I do wrong?
Holden keeps walking me through things until I push back from the computer. Holden’s chair squeaks. I glance over my shoulder and find him devouring me. I should have worn leggings to give him a better view of my curves.
But I’m not afraid of Holden. He’s approachable and sweet. Understanding. Hell, he kissed me out of a nightmare.
“Holden, how do you do it, really?”
“Numbers make sense, Sophia. There’s no confusion. Every error has an obvious solution, and I can fix it all. It’s simple.” He says evenly. “No confusion or …”
“Emotion.” I walk back to him and hesitate a step away. “Did I upset you?”
Holden stands, towering over me. He cups my face and shakes his head. He searches me for the answer, scouring my face like he can find it. I wrap my arms around myself. “You just seem bothered.”
“It’s not you.” He says, barely a murmur.
I want to believe him, want to give myself at least that, but now it’s a pattern and Holden is all about patterns, right? “Okay.”
Holden takes a slow breath. “I used … I like video games.”
“That’s surprising.”
“The puzzle ones mostly.” He continues.
I smile and nod. Holden tells me about nothing and everything. We end up just talking and drinking wine until I hear the door open. I jump up and giggle as I nearly trip over my own socks. Holden smirks and gets up, taking my glass from me and helping me out of his room.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m better than when I was staring at the numbers.” I giggle, then cover my mouth.
God, is it the wine, or is he more attractive when he’s grinning at me? I bite my bottom lip and rise up on my toes. This could practically be a date, and I would love to finish it the right way.
“You should rest, Sophia.” He winks.
I rest back on my heels with another pang of rejection. Am I reading this wrong? I have to be. I tuck my hair behind my ear and nod. “You’re right. Sleep sounds good.”
“Can you make it up the stairs?”
“I’m fine,” I grumble, pulling myself free of him.
I stumble in front of Nick and Gunner but ignore the hands that are offered me. I stalk up to my room and fling myself onto the bed. I groan and push my face into the pillow. I’m practically screaming in my head, which must be why I don’t hear him come up.
“Lucky it’s just us and not your dad, sweets.”
Gunner’s voice rubs across my skin until I turn to face him. He lays on his back, reclining like he owns the place. It’s sexy. All of him is sexy, in all honesty. I can still feel his mouth on me.
“You shouldn’t be in my bed.” I grumble.
“Oh?”
“Or you’ll get pissy with me too.” I sigh.
“No one’s pissy with you.” He flops onto his back fully, both arms folded under his head. “You don’t have to worry.”
But I do. I have to worry because I live with these men and I’ve somehow pissed off at least Roman and definitely embarrassed myself in front of Holden. Two out of five isn’t good. I can’t make it three.
“I just need some sleep.” I clutch my pillow closer.
Gunner nods. “Then I’ll see you in the morning.”
“I’m with you?” I ask.
He winks at me and pats my calf. “All day.”
It thrills me. Almost as much as when I’m in his office in the morning. Last time I was here … I shake my head and sit at his desk, listening to him. Hell, I could listen to him read the dictionary and be happy. But what he says is so boring I can’t focus.
My brain is numb.
And it’s easier to think about him fucking me across his desk, his hand around my mouth to keep me quiet. Pounding into me over and over as I get louder and louder. He’d be so much better than that massage setting on the showerhead.
“Sophia.”
I blink a few times and Gunner arches an eyebrow. “Am I boring you?”
“No!” I jump up, realizing I’ve been on my elbows on his desk. “No, sorry. It’s a lot to take in.”
“It’s a big job.” He leans back in his chair. “Sweets, if this is boring, I understand. It’s not the most exciting of jobs.”
“No, but you’re taking the time to teach me,” I remark.
“Something better on your mind?”
The smile he wears tells me he knows exactly what I’ve been thinking. I feel my cheeks heat. I’m embarrassed at getting caught. But fantasizing is safer than acting on what I want. Even if really having him would definitely feel better.
“No.”
I’m sure my squeak is unconvincing, considering he tries to rub his smile away. He shakes his head at me. “Behave, sweets. We’re at work.”
“I am!”
“Yeah. That smile says you’re not behaving.” He leans towards me, his hand on mine. “And I want in on whatever your pretty head is stuck on.”
“Gunner.” I breathe.
He smirks. “Let’s order lunch instead. Might be a better use of our time.”
Lunch is delivered by a frustrated Neal. I can see the warning in his gaze, and he glowers at Gunner the entire time. When he heads out, Gunner huffs. “Fucker.”
“Why don’t you like him?”
“I have my reasons.” Gunner’s fingers rub into my wrist, and then he pulls my hand to his face to kiss across my palm. “Now, be a good girl so I can focus.”
I swallow. I need to behave. I need to get myself under control so I can keep the peace in the house, right? But I can’t resist pushing the envelope. “Gunner, why is Roman mad at me?”
He chuckles, just laughs, and shakes his head. “He’s not mad at you, sweets.”
“Yes, he is! You didn’t hear his tone yesterday.” I insist.
Gunner gently kisses my wrist. “Trust me. He’s frustrated, but he’s not angry. I promise. “We’re frustrated.”
“We?”
Gunner grins wickedly, kisses my palm one more time, then starts going over his job again. I don’t remember a damn thing considering that smile and the way it made me feel drunk and all too aware at the same time.
I’d love to know I make him … them frustrated. As I leave, I meet Gunner’s eyes. “So, who am I with tomorrow?”
“Nick. Then we’ll all have dinner.”
“Why?”
“To prove no one is mad at you.” He winks at me.
